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A New Year and a new Seder

Rabbi Gabriel Botnick introduces a new ritual for Tu B’Shevat

At the start of Mishnah Rosh Hashanah, we learn that there are not one, but four, New Year days in Judaism. We are most familiar with Rosh Chodesh Tishrei, which is not only the first day of a new month but also marks the anniversary of the world’s creation – Rosh Hashanah. The first of Nisan marks the New Year of Kings. Every time a monarch is in power, when this day comes around, we add another year to the measure of their reign. The first of Elul is the New Year of Animals: any animals born after that day are considered for a separate tithe year from those born before. And of course, there’s Tu B’Shevat, which marks the midpoint of the rainy season and is celebrated as the New Year of Trees.

Just as no single day can claim to be the one, true, New Year in Judaism, so too no single day can lay claim to the ritual of Seder. Of course, whenever people hear the word ‘Seder’, most will automatically – and rightly – associate it with Pesach and the festive meal. But the word ‘Seder’ simply means ‘order’ and is used to describe any ritual meal that follows a prescribed order of blessings and traditions before the main course. Another holiday that is celebrated with a Seder is Rosh Hashanah, when – before reciting HaMotzi – we bless a number of symbolic foods, whose names are used in New Year-themed puns. This is the origin of our eating apples dipped in honey: that we may have a sweet year.

But more relevant to this issue of Our Cong, there is also a tradition of holding a Seder on Tu B’Shevat. In this ritual – instituted by the Kabbalists nearly 500 years ago – we begin the festive meal by blessing and consuming symbolic fruits, nuts and wine, each corresponding to a different season of the year as well as various planes of our spiritual existence.

For winter, we drink white wine (symbolising snow) and eat nuts and fruits with inedible exteriors (e.g. walnuts, pomegranates, oranges), representing seeds lying dormant and how we might retreat into our homes and close ourselves off from others.

For spring, we add a drop of red wine to a glass of white – representing the first blush of seasonal colour – and we eat fruits with pits or stones, but that are otherwise fully edible (e.g. olives, apricots). These fruits not only remind us of how the ground is not yet fully thawed, but they also encourage us to identify parts of ourselves which we may be holding back out of fear of becoming too vulnerable.

The third part of this seder is based around a glass of wine that is equal parts red and white – reminding us of the vibrant colours of nature in the warmer months. At this point, we also eat a selection of fruits which are fully edible (e.g. figs, grapes) and represent the ways in which we might fully give of ourselves to others.

Finally, we arrive at autumn – for which we drink dark, red wine and consume no fruit. The hope is that, by the autumn of our lives, we have realized our full potential and embraced wholly our spiritual existence. For this reason, we have no need for the physical nourishment of fruit, as we aim to find total contentment through the Divine.

The Tu B’Shevat Seder adds no more than fifteen minutes or so to our holiday meal, but it leaves us with meaningful teachings that can come back to mind throughout the year as we marvel at the changing of the seasons and the natural world. While I certainly encourage you to try out this beautiful tradition on your own during one of your holiday meals (24–25 January), I also invite you to join us at Belsize Square on 20 January, when we will enjoy a communal Tu B’Shevat Seder during Kiddush, following our Shabbat morning service.

Let us bring more holiness into the world

Rabbi Gabriel Botnick on how we can increase light in the darkness at this hugely difficult time

As I sit down to write this article, Israel is at war with Hamas and no one knows how things will develop over time or what the outcome will be, so I don’t wish to speak specifically to this topic. If I did so, I might be at risk of writing something that will be irrelevant by the time you have a chance to read it. However it has become clear that, regardless of how things pan out in Israel, the situation here at home in the United Kingdom is not quite what we had thought it to be. We have felt in recent weeks that the sense of security we have enjoyed here since the founding of our synagogue in 1939 might be a mirage. I personally have experienced worry walking through the streets of London, wearing my kippah, speaking Hebrew, or displaying any other signs of my Jewishness. This has led to my questioning whether or not it makes sense to light the Chanukah candles in the window, directly visible to passers by as our tradition dictates. My concern is that someone might see the candles and realise that ours is a Jewish home and do something foolish to harm or scare us. For this reason, rabbis throughout the centuries have taught that it is permissible to light the Chanukah candles inside your home, where the flames shine for you and your guests, out of sight of those who might wish you harm. While this certainly should be done in times where your Jewishness can prove to be fatal, thankfully, we are nowhere near that situation at present. Therefore we are left in a quandary.

What should we do this year as we celebrate the miracle of the oil and God’s providence over our lives? I think the answer lies within the candles themselves. There was a disagreement about whether we should start with one candle and increase the number each of the eight nights, or if we should start with eight candles and decrease the number of lights every evening, corresponding to the depletion of oil at the time of Maccabee victory. The rabbis concluded that the tradition should be according to the former opinion, which is how we light the candles today. The reason the rabbis gave is a phrase, ma’alin bekedushah ve’ain moridin, which means we only ‘increase holiness’. By increasing the amount of light shining out from our homes into the surrounding darkness, we are adding to the holiness of the world. I believe herein lies the answer to our conundrum, as we start to see an ever-growing darkness around us. Here in London we have two choices. We can either choose to add to that darkness by hiding our light, or we can stand up in defiance by lighting our menorahs in our windows for everyone to see. We will not only add our light to the darkness, but also let the world know that we, the Jewish people, will not allow ourselves to be intimidated into the shadows.

We associate our tradition of lighting the Chanukah candles with childhood, yet this year the candles will burn even more for us as adults. They are not a prelude to the exchanging of gifts but a proclamation of our strength as a Jewish people, the strength given to us by God, the greatest gift one could ever have hoped for. This year I encourage you to light your Chanukah candles in your window where they can be seen even if you normally don’t follow this custom. Hopefully, together, like the Maccabees, we can fight to bring more light and holiness into this darkening world.

The Compassion of Forgiveness

Rabbi Gabriel Botnick on the benefits of forgiving those who have hurt us

Why is it so difficult to forgive others? This is a time of year when we are told that we must forgive people if they apologise to us, but sometimes the idea of forgiveness seems too difficult or painful. Besides, we are told that God will forgive someone if they apologise three times, so why open ourselves up to pain by doing something that God will do regardless?

A number of years ago, I was hurt by someone close to me. My entire world was turned upside down by their actions and I felt little but contempt – even hatred – toward them. I went out of my way to avoid this person and was overcome by anger whenever our paths crossed.

At one point, I took a chance and forgave them, only to be hurt once more. And so I decided that no utterance of forgiveness would ever leave my mouth again (at least toward this person). I convinced myself I was taking a stand on moral grounds and that I was doing the right thing by punishing this person for their behaviour.

But the thing is, the only person who was truly punished by my choice was me. I was the one filled with animosity and resentment. I was the one suffering from stress, worrying about when I might run into this person and what I would do or say. I was the one living with the nagging suspicion that maybe I was doing the wrong thing by not forgiving them.

And then one day, the inevitable happened. I was forced yet again to decide between forgiving this person or holding onto this grudge – and I cautiously chose to forgive them. While the process was slow and painful while rebuilding trust and learning anew how to navigate the terrain of our relationship, eventually things began to feel different. I was no longer weighed down by the emotional burden I had been carrying. I actually could feel a difference in my body as well as in my mind. In the end, Irealised it was far easier to forgive someone than to bear a grudge against them.

A while back, I read a news story about someone who, standingoutside a criminal court, publicly expressed their forgiveness towardsthe person who murdered their loved one. I was initially amazed by their willingness to forgive, but I also understood their choice, which they said was rooted deeply in their faith.

During the High Holy Days, we recite numerous times the 13 Attributes of God; invoking God’s compassion, patience, love and forgiveness. Imagine if we allowed ourselves truly to internalise these words when we say them – if we reassured ourselves that the best way to experience the Divine in our world is by extricating any hatred and resentment from within it. If the family of a murder victim can forgive their loved one’s killer, can’t we forgive those who commit far less severe transgressions against us?

We all agree it would be unthinkable for an adult to condemn a child to a life of punishment for wronging them. Instead through our patience, understanding and forgiveness, we give them another chance, showing the child that we believe they can be better, thereby encouraging their growth and maturation.
And yet, when we hurt others, even intentionally, we are behaving much like children – not fully aware of how our actions may impact those around us. With this in mind, it seems almost cruel to withhold forgiveness from those who wrong us, once we understand that the best motivation for growth is not anger and punishment, but love and forgiveness.

So this year, as we make our way through the High Holydays, I invite us all to embrace the idea of forgiveness. As difficult as it may be, I know it can make us all better people. And that is indeed what this time of year is about.

Eating and thinking

Rabbi Gabriel Botnick on a new Shabbat feature at Belsize Square

If you take a moment to consider some of your most powerful Jewish memories, chances are they involve food: Shabbat and holiday meals with loved ones, B’nei Mitzvah celebrations, even sitting shiva. And though we fast on Yom Kippur, one could argue that the absence of food, followed by the breaking of the fast, plays a large role in defining the holiday.

The fact is that food is central to the Jewish experience. In Pirkei Avot (Ethics of Our Ancestors), Rabbi Elazar ben Azarya famously stated: Im ein kemach, ein Torah or ‘Without sustenance, there is no Torah.’ By this he means that people are unable to focus on their learning if they are not properly fed – and that is precisely what we intend to do at Belsize: feed you.

Starting in June, once a month, we will be offering an expanded kiddush that will include not only a proper sit-down lunch, but also a chance to do some learning. You’ll be invited to hang out at the regular kiddush for a while and then make your way to another space where you’ll be able to load your plate with delicious fare to enjoy while you sit and shmooze with others. Before we start our learning, Cantor Heller will lead us in a song or two, followed by Birkat Hamazon.

And then we will begin our learning. Initially, this will focus on deepening our understanding of central symbols and objects within Judaism – often relating to any upcoming holidays. You might learn some secrets about how a Torah is made, or why we dress it in such fancy garb. Or maybe you’ll discover what makes a shofar or mezuzah kosher, or how far you can push the boundaries of design on any given ritual object. There’s so much to uncover and we’ll do just that over lunch one Shabbat per month.

Now, you might be curious to learn about these topics, but perhaps coming to services isn’t really your thing. That’s okay! While we would love you to join us for services, there is no expectation for you to do so. You’re more than welcome to come to shul around midday and join us for lunch and learning. Just being with the community on Shabbat is what we’re hoping for.

And if you can’t make it at all on Shabbat, no worries – we will be resuming the release of my Taste of Torah videos on the shul website and You Tube channel, in which I’ll give a brief overview of the topic we’ll be discussing that Shabbat. While these videos will certainly be informative, the deep learning will only be available to those who attend in person on Shabbat.

I have a few goals with this initiative. First of all, I want to share some of the learning that makes Judaism so exciting – not only in a theoretical sense, but on a truly practical level, which is why we’ll be focusing on ritual objects that we use all the time. I also want to help you find ways to connect with Shabbat. If attending services hasn’t been doing that for you, maybe eating and learning will. And finally, I’m hoping this new initiative will help strengthen our sense of community. So often, we come to synagogue and only chat with the people we know, if anyone at all. By taking time to enjoy a meal together and engage in great conversation, we can all deepen our connections with the community.

So I hope you will consider joining me and Cantor Heller on 10 June as we launch this new programme. Subsequent sessions will take place on 8 July and 9 September. I look forward to lunching and learning with you soon!